No Friends, No Money...A 1950 Marriage

 A problem sent in to Home Chat's Agony Aunt in 1950...and the advice received:

Dear Mrs Jim

I am in rather a quandary and I wonder if you can help me. I have a very good job in London and earn an excellent salary. My boyfriend is in the army now, stationed near London, so that I see him very frequently, but soon I hope he'll be demobbed and then he says he's going back to Scotland to take up his old job as an engineer. He wants me to marry him and go back with him, but I don't feel that I want to give up my work here and go back to a place where I shall be a stranger. He will be earning sufficient to keep me comfortably,  so there won't be any real need for me to get a new job. I feel though that I'm going to miss having my own money and all my friends. What would you advise me to do?

If you really love him, my dear, you won't hesitate when it comes to making the final decision. You're still young and I don't think you'll find this new life so very different. I know how you feel about giving up your independence, but don't forget that most husbands take pride in sseeing their ives well dressed aand with lovely belongings. Talk over money matters with your fiancé before you marry and ask if he will give you a small allowance for your own personal spending,  or you could get a part time job if you wanted to have a little pocket money that was really your own. If Scotland is your boy's home, then you can be sure that he'll have friends there and you'll soon make new acquaintances my dear. And after all it isn't so far away from London is it? 

Another illustration of what young women were expected to do, to fit in with the contemporary idea of marriage. What was the prospective husband going to give up? Nothing. The gains were all on his side, he got to go home with someone who would keep house for him. I beg to differ, Mrs Jim...London is a very long way from Scotland when you have no money of your own.

Click here to find out what Margaret Rutherford would do

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